I like to be alone but I am not lonely. I am married and have two kids but I still desire to be alone. I cherish the moments when I have the house to myself.
Growing up we always moved because my dad was in the military so sometimes it would be a while before I made new friends. My brother had Asperger’s Syndrome so he wasn’t always easy to play with therefore I played by myself a lot.
When I did make friends I usually had one or two close ones that I spent all of my time with. After high school I chose a destructive path and ended up losing any friends I did have. It didn’t really make me sad though because I was so used to leaving people anyway.
For a while drugs became my friend. I could always count on them to make me feel good and they never caused any drama. I am now drug free and still I do not have any friends.
I could make friends but most women I meet have sisters and other friends that they choose to spend time with. On top of that most women I meet seem to always want to talk about things I have no interest in or their lives are always full of drama.
I think I would be happy to move in the middle of nowhere on a farm where I could grow a garden, take care of animals and just enjoy the simple things that life has to offer. I could watch the sunrise and sunset. I could stare at the stars at night with just the sound of crickets in the background.
My husband doesn’t quite understand why I am like that because he has a big family with lots of cousins and friends. I did not know my cousins growing up and never got to grow up with friends so we do not see eye to eye on that.
My husband thinks I should try to make friends but I just do not want to. I enjoy solitude. I work at home online so I don’t have to socialize with co-workers. I am not sure why I am so comfortable with being alone but I just am.
Is there something wrong with me or is it that I am just content with being by myself? The internet does give me the opportunity to have some interactions with others which is nice because I can end my interactions without it being awkward.
Will I ever change? I don’t know but for now I am okay with being alone because I never feel lonely.
After some research I came across this: